A few days ago I did my first live chat/stream on Strobe (watch it here!) and a pretty big life announcement came up during it that I’ve been wanting to share…
I’m going to be moving in with my boyfriend (!!!) sometime this spring/summer, and we’ve started to look at places.
No, he is not moving into my “super chic loft” as someone on my stream put it (love you, mean it) but I’ll be moving out of the city and to the beach. We’re looking to find a place in Manhattan Beach, which is a chic, super cute little beach town in the South Bay.
I told my boyfriend, I hope he’s ready to live in a place with tons of plants, flowers, crystals, and girly vibes. If you’ve seen the photos of my downtown LA loft or queen chic Seattle style, you know what I’m talking about…
I forced him into getting a Pinterest account because I created a joint board called “BEACH CHIC” for us to get our home decor style/vibes (and inevitable differences…) sorted out before we actually moved in. HELLO, I am obsessed with interior design and home decor – if I’m going to leave my amazing loft that I love, best believe I’m going to have a vision board for the next place created before we even start looking. #psycho
I’m beyond excited, buuut… I can’t say that I’ve ever lived with a guy before. Like, what am I getting myself into? This is where I need YOUR help. Do you guys have any tips for someone moving in with a boyfriend for the first time?
Please share your wisdom in a comment because I literally almost googled “tips before moving in with boyfriend,” until I realized I probably have a lot of readers who are married and/or live with their boyfriends, who can provide me with realistic advice for someone doing this for their first time! Any tips or info to share would be MUCH appreciated :)
xx
STONECOLDBETCH 
Congratulations for the big move! Don’t worry and don’t have fear of living together with your boyfriend. Be yourself and enjoy having a home together. It really depends on the people usually, but I think that a shared home must not be a battlefield. Good luck! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the comment! Hopefully we will navigate around turning our home into a battlefield as there’s enough space so we can each have “our” spots. :) I’m excited, we’ll see! xx
oh also…make sure you each have your own separate place in the house to decompress about arguments & to save your sanity..his is the garage and mine is the spare room which has my bookshelf and soon there will be a big comfy couch too!
I moved in with my boyfriend four months ago and the hardest thing is training them to put the toilet seat down! we spend one of our days off together cleaning the house up aka washing the floors and the bathroom. just make sure you split everything equally!
This is so exciting! Your new place is gonna be fab. I have only lived with someone once and I would say my biggest thing was when I first moved in I did a lot of the cleaning(laundry, dishes, keeping the place generally tidy) and after a little while of me doing this he quit offering to help. Then he began to expect it and I began to resent him for it (and the fact that he was a total fuckboy but that’s another story). my mom even warned me but, being so young and smart I clearly ignored her. So just don’t take complete ownership of a role you will grow to hate. He can clean his own damn plate. Also, when you get mad at him about something silly like how he loads the dishwasher just stop and remember you’re no longer a single, but now a couple. Certain habits will need to be adjusted. Good luck!!!
Our main problem were chores. I work nights so I’d spend my days aimlessly cleaning until we decided to do them TOGETHER on our days off. Put some music on and do it together, quicker and more fun. Don’t take it all too seriously, moving out should be exciting. And if he ever does the shopping, I can guarantee he’ll come back with a 2in1 shampoo & conditioner. Just no.
Omg, no – I think I’ll gladly take the shopping duties in return for not having to do the garbage or clean a bathroom! I love that idea, I can totally get down with cleaning/organizing while rocking out to tunes. Everyone is making so me so excited with their comments :) thanks for the idea! x
So I lived with my current boyfriend before we even got together (I know totally backwards) and we even shared a bathroom! It’s definitely hard and it takes adjusting. You just have to lay out ground rules about everything it’s really essential. 20 something guys are like their own breed lol so be prepared for some less than charming attributes when it comes to being clean. Of course if you lucked out and got a clean freak guy good for you! I think the most important thing is to not become so consumed with each other because it’s easy to do once you live with each other. Have your own lives outside of home and don’t forget your wants and needs. Good luck!
Xoxo
AHHH SAMESIES! My boyfriend just got a job in NYC and he’ll be living with a friend for a bit but we are going to start looking for places soon! I was having minor panic attacks until I realized that we actually have *basically* lived together when we were studying abroad and in college when I would pretty much just stay at his place every night, BUT there was always the thought that I had my own space to go back to. I think that’s gonna be my #1 thing when we look for a place, having our own space to be when we need it! Also one thing I learned from having roommates is that cleaning is way more fun if you do it TOGETHER, with loud music and wine :) “You take the bathroom, I got the kitchen!!!” I can’t wait to see what beach bungalow you end up in! <3
Ahh that’s so exciting for you too! We spend a shitload of time together already too, and it’s definitely more about not having my own space anymore that freaks me out when I start really thinking about it. I can’t wait to find a place and start decorating it DUH :) xx
if you are looking to do some airbnb renting in june while moving out, let me know !
Renting my place or looking for an in-between place to stay?! You left an anon comment so I have no idea how to reach you :) lmk! xx
oops sorry ! My email address should be visible tho
let me send you an email !
His and hers bathrooms I hear are essential!
We’ve made that a non-negotiable in our place, at least 1.5 bath – mostly for guests coming in and out, but we’re also hoping to find a place that has a master bath with 2 sinks because he washes his face and it gets ALL OVER, lol. boys *rolls eyes* but we are definitely about the 2 bathroom life! thanks for the tip xx
First off, congrats! This is huge!
Now, I know it’s already been said, but really learn to pick your battles. I’m a super clean and organized person and my fiancé isn’t very tidy so when we first moved in it drove me crazy! He would leave the laundry NEXT to the laundry basket and never do the dishes. After talking a lot about it with him, instead of just yelling, and getting him to understand the things that bothered me, we’ve definitely been able to find our happy, middle ground and split things fairly equally. Also, my wise therapist put it in a perspective that was easier to understand, that just because something is bothering me, doesn’t necessarily means it’s bothering him, so therefore, it’s my problem and not his. For example, if he doesn’t make the bed in the morning and it’s driving me insane, instead of yelling at him about it, I can just make the bed if it was really bothering me that much. Not to say that you should always cave, but just find a happy middle and pick and choose which things are worth getting into fights over.
Also make sure that you two still make time for each other, it’s easy to forget to have date nights once you’re living together because you’ll be sleeping in the same bed, but it’s still really important to have that personal time. It’s definitely a big transition at first, good luck!
Congrats SCB! It’s so awesome living with your s/o but one thing I learned is that it can be a thought transition at first so be patient and there may be little fights or things that bother you but don’t be afraid to talk it out. You don’t want tension with someone you live with. But most importantly, making “chores” like grocery shopping, cooking or cleaning more manageable or even fun buy tackling it together! Your blog and Twitter give me life and I’m so happy for you! Love you, mean it.
It can’t be stressed enough that you need your own space in the house! We each have a desk to work at, plus an upstairs, which can create privacy/quiet/peace when you need it. But on the other side of the same coin, make sure you take time each day (doesn’t have to be long!) to spend together and chat about things – life, your day, some cute dog you saw outside, anything, a moment that’s just you two. Also, on moving day, do your best to not take things out on each other! Moving everything you own in together can get hectic, and one person can feel like their stuff/personality/decor is being left out, and I love that y’all are putting together a Pinterest board of ideas before hand! That can definitely help. Then, remember how EXCITING it is to live with the guy you love!!
First off, congrats! Love you. Second, PICK. YOUR. BATTLES. I can’t stress that enough. I am such a particular person who does things very particularly. He does the dishes and sweeps/mops but in the beginning the floors wouldn’t be that clean and the dishes were still greasy (gross, I know. It’s like he never learned how to do the dishes). But I just nicely told him that some of the dishes were dirty and maybe because he wore gloves he couldn’t feel it and now he checks if they’re clean! When decorating, add some stuff that he would enjoy on your own. Don’t just expect him to add his own style because, let’s be real, guys really don’t care. He will appreciate your effort and feel like you care about making him feel at home too. Also, get a place with good closet space (lol). Have a blast! Can’t wait to hear/see about the new place! Xo, your pal from Chicago, Bianca.
Don’t hesitate to do your own thing when you’re both at home. Try your best to get 2 bathrooms so that when he shaves + those shitty little hairs are in the sick you can go to the other bathroom to do your makeup ;) Cook together, it has really brought my boyfriend + I closer. I love that you two have a pinterest board, we did the same thing! Discuss bills + what not prior to moving in + have a clear plan. Leave each other love notes around the house :) Think before you speak (or for me, snap!) you learn things about your boyfriend that might bug you once you live together, so just take a big deep breath so that you don’t murder him on accident ha! Good luck, love! Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
Talk about how to split living expenses before you get settled! Splitting everything sounds easier than it is sometimes! Try to designate one day a week to just doing something together and be firm with it! Worst thing is living together but never actually doing anything together, but also don’t feel bad if you just want to have “you” time some days! It’s all about balance!
Such a good point! I know we each have a lot going on so I don’t want proper dates to stop just bc we live in the same place – I will defffff be needing me time on a regular basis, haha… Thanks for the tips xx
Definitely be patient. It doesn’t matter how perfect and amazing your boyfriend is, there are always going to be differences. Some fights are inevitable, but for the most part, it’s growing pains and it will pass. The first month or two is the hardest. Living with your significant other is a dream. I love it.
I’m eternally working on my patience, so I guess it will just be another test… We are trying to smooth out as many kinks as possible beforehand so it’s an easy transition. Thanks for the tips lovely. x
Try to have your go to bed/wake up times coincide if possible; divide up house chores i.e. Dishes vs taking out garbage/recycling; learn to love whatever show they are obsessed with if you aren’t also obsessed; try to fall asleep before him because ALL men snore and it will keep you awake. Good luck!!
Hahaha, these are great tips! He lives with a girl now and always rolls his eyes about the shows she watches (which I also love), yet he knows more about the happenings of #PumpRules than I do. We def need to discuss chores – I am SO excited to be sharing those with someone again! xx
Separate his and her offices (aka man/woman cave). With doors. That definitely helps my 5 year relationship.
So true – I’ll be WFH, so a second bedroom that I could use as MY office and my space (and consolidate all the “girly” stuff he comments on in my place, LOL) safely contained. He wants garage space for his bikes, tools and triathalon shit, so that’s kind of how we’re dividing it up. I feel like it will be critical for when we’re always under the same roof! Thanks girl :)
Good luck with this upcoming adventure!! Yes… I have some tidbits of advice ;-) xoxo Bets
Ahhh, Bets! Between trying to start my podcast and moving in with Ryan I am going to need all of your wise life advice I can get :) I would love to hear from you! Do you still have my number?? Or email? :)