Hi, Psychos: A Guest (Recipe!) Post from Queen Sloane.

Hi psychos! S, here. Unless you’re new here and meeting me for the first time, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been, what I’ve been up to, and what my favorite fall mani is (ESPN, duh. And it’s anything oxblood). Before we critically analyze my life, pause for a sec. Kick off those booties, wander into your kitch and pour a Sloane-sized glass of wine.

Do you die for how cute this label is?! Lately, I’ve been super into this organic pinot noir I accidentally came across at a rando wine tasting I happened to walk in on, but I digress… Let’s talk more about me. When we last met, everything was dark. I had hitched a ride with Alice and took a one-way trip down the rabbit hole and fearful I’d never quite return.

But guess what, psychos? The most incredible thing happened. I can only liken it to getting dressed in two minutes before you’re late, late, late for a very important brunch date. My life, like this outfit – it came together.

I knew what I had to do. I booked a flight, called car service, and said deuces to West Coast treatment – our short-term relationship wasn’t meant to be and the air was disastrous for my skin anyway. I realized that I wasn’t going to get my shit together sitting and waiting in the desert. Like, this isn’t Aladdin.

I didn’t get my life together in an instant aha! moment – I’ve found those are more for shoe sales at Bloomies. I knew I had to actively live… so that’s what I did. I jumped into the life I wanted to live. I took up yoga, bought a new wardrobe, and even got a short-lived job.

Most importantly, I got out of my own head. That’s the real secret nobody tells you. Of course, I’m still the same psycho. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t a teensy bit crazy – all the best people are (I see you, N). And don’t worry, you’ll be seeing more of me on SCB.

So anyway. I figured, what more perfect welcome back post for me than a recipe?! My veggie soba noodle “salad.”

Be prepared, psychos. This one of those recipes that changes the teensiest bit every time you make it, but totally never disappoints. Perfect for psychotic carb-cravings, it’s delish on its own or paired with a lean protein: tofu, fish/anything that screams sushi, chicken for you carnivores.

• 2/3 pkg soba noodles (A and I dig these from King Soba)
• 1/2 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
• 1 small-medium head broccoli, cut into florets
• 1 bunch asparagus, sliced (stems removed)
• 1 large carrot, julienned
• 2-4 scallions, thinly sliced on a diagonal
• 1-2T sesame seeds for garnish

First things first, boil the water and cook your soba noodles according to the direction on the package. Do not salt the water. Trust. While they’re cooking, prepare a bowl of cold water and set aside. When they’re done (aprox 5-8 mins), strain and run cold water over them, strain again and put the noodles right in the bowl of cold water. This is where shit gets a little feisty. Take the noodles and literally wash them using your (clean) hands. You’ll start to see the weird gummy-like starchy consistency just roll off. Strain, rinse with cold water, strain again and put the noodles aside.

Now for the veggies. I prefer a 2:1 veg to noodle ratio, but do whatever floats your boat. You could totally keep all the veggies raw here if you dig raw broccoli/ asparagus. Personally, I don’t. Whatev. Slice your veggies and toss your raw carrots, peppers, and scallions (reserving a handful for garnish) in with the noodles. Blanch or steam your asparagus and broccoli and add them to the bowl. Feel free to use whatever veggies you have on hand – promise I won’t judge… too hard, anyway.

We’re almost dunzo, promise. Just whip up this dressing and voila!

• 1T toasted sesame oil (you could totes use an extra T but don’t go Babette on me)
• 1/2-1 whole juiced lime to your preference
• 1-2T low sodium tamari
• A nice sized hunk of fresh ginger, minced
• 1 small clove garlic for funsies
• Sriracha/red pepper flakes to taste

Whisk your dressing ingredients, pausing to taste. Pour dressing over the noodles. Mix well, top with scallions and sesame seeds. Serve at room temp, or let the noodles chill in the fridge (I suggest at least an hour).

Bon appétit, betches!

Love you, mean it.
S